The things, that I'd say to you.
Monday, May 14, 2012
The Things I'd Say to You
I'd say that things have been an emotional rollercoaster, as people say. I'd say that I wish things hadn't happened, but they have and I can't regret it now. I'd say that I miss him, but it's more like a dull pain now, in the midst of everything. I'd say that I'm happy with who I am, but I haven't come out yet to others. I'd say that I'm okay, but then I'd be lying.
Sunday, February 26, 2012
Letting Go
It took me a long time to realize this (two years, I'm guessing) - but even now, I can't fully grasp the concept or the courage at all. If you truly want something, then put your foot down, and just go for it. Yes, people will judge you. Hell. Wherever you go, people will judge you. Nothing's going to change that. But life is beyond looking good for someone, life is beyond trying to fulfill someone else's expectations. It's about being happy, and being content.
About two, three weeks ago, I finally said to my father that I was going to quit karate. Surprisingly, he said yes, and I've tried out badminton (it was... interesting, but I'm still sore), and I think I'll try other things out as well. It took me so much courage to stand up for myself, and I'm finally away from that fear. I'm finally free, in that sense. Karate created so much fear, fear of being shot down and of being taunted. Always being compared, always being pushed and no longer encouraged. I still don't know if it was the right choice... but I can tell you this. I am happier and more content as a person, then I would ever be if I didn't quit.
About two, three weeks ago, I finally said to my father that I was going to quit karate. Surprisingly, he said yes, and I've tried out badminton (it was... interesting, but I'm still sore), and I think I'll try other things out as well. It took me so much courage to stand up for myself, and I'm finally away from that fear. I'm finally free, in that sense. Karate created so much fear, fear of being shot down and of being taunted. Always being compared, always being pushed and no longer encouraged. I still don't know if it was the right choice... but I can tell you this. I am happier and more content as a person, then I would ever be if I didn't quit.
"This isn't giving up, no this is letting go."
Monday, February 6, 2012
Highschools, Rise Against, and the Time of My Life
This past weekend has been one of the best in my life, I have been one of the luckiest people ever.
Saturday afternoon, after months of waiting and weeks of painfully filling out applications and studying, I received my highschool letters, telling me whether I was accepted into their programs. And I got into both. The moment I read the first letter, it was just like BAM. I've gotten into the highschool of my dreams, and everything felt right. And after a bunch of flurrying on facebook, seeing who had gotten in and all, everything was just... ahhh.
The day after wards, on Sunday night, I headed out with my father to the Patriot Center to see Rise Against - LIVE. They just blew me away. The opening song, Survivor's Guilt, was so suspenseful when they finally came out after the two opening bands, the Menzingers and A Day to Remember. Favorite moments were when Tim just came out with his acoustic guitar and played/sang Audience of One and Swing Life Away alone. The sound was great, and I stood up the whole time. Everything he said was just... amazing, and I really enjoyed it. There are bands that you're interested in listening to, and you like the lyrics and everything. But then there are bands that inspire you and show you what this world is about - and Rise Against is one of those bands.
Set list (thanks to a video on youtube)
1. Survivor Guilt
2. Ready to Fall
3. Collapse (Post-Amerika)
4. The Good Left Undone
5. Broken English
6. Help Is on the Way
7. Disparity by Design
8. Drones
9. Re-Education (Through Labor)
10. Blood to Bleed
11. Satellite
12. Paper Wings
13. Prayer of the Refugee
14. Audience of One
15. Swing Life Away
16. Make It Stop (September's Children)
17. Give It All
18. Midnight Hands
19. The Strength to Go On
20. Savior
Thanks to whoever uploaded it, I'm truly grateful.
Saturday afternoon, after months of waiting and weeks of painfully filling out applications and studying, I received my highschool letters, telling me whether I was accepted into their programs. And I got into both. The moment I read the first letter, it was just like BAM. I've gotten into the highschool of my dreams, and everything felt right. And after a bunch of flurrying on facebook, seeing who had gotten in and all, everything was just... ahhh.
The day after wards, on Sunday night, I headed out with my father to the Patriot Center to see Rise Against - LIVE. They just blew me away. The opening song, Survivor's Guilt, was so suspenseful when they finally came out after the two opening bands, the Menzingers and A Day to Remember. Favorite moments were when Tim just came out with his acoustic guitar and played/sang Audience of One and Swing Life Away alone. The sound was great, and I stood up the whole time. Everything he said was just... amazing, and I really enjoyed it. There are bands that you're interested in listening to, and you like the lyrics and everything. But then there are bands that inspire you and show you what this world is about - and Rise Against is one of those bands.
Set list (thanks to a video on youtube)
1. Survivor Guilt
2. Ready to Fall
3. Collapse (Post-Amerika)
4. The Good Left Undone
5. Broken English
6. Help Is on the Way
7. Disparity by Design
8. Drones
9. Re-Education (Through Labor)
10. Blood to Bleed
11. Satellite
12. Paper Wings
13. Prayer of the Refugee
14. Audience of One
15. Swing Life Away
16. Make It Stop (September's Children)
17. Give It All
18. Midnight Hands
19. The Strength to Go On
20. Savior
Thanks to whoever uploaded it, I'm truly grateful.
Monday, January 16, 2012
Change
Happy Late New Year, and an upcoming Chinese New Year as well (next monday, I believe). It's ironic how I'm supposed to be studying right now, and... I'm actually writing a post, but oh well.
So many things have happened this year that I am incredibly grateful for. I had the courage to stand up for myself, my friend helped me and I got a chance to truly talk/chat with him after many months. I think I'm starting... to understand myself better, and I'm trying to keep myself optimistic.
Hopefully things work out for everyone, and I'm just waiting until February for highschool results. Then it's March, and April. (Just starting a countdown, lol.)
So many things have happened this year that I am incredibly grateful for. I had the courage to stand up for myself, my friend helped me and I got a chance to truly talk/chat with him after many months. I think I'm starting... to understand myself better, and I'm trying to keep myself optimistic.
Hopefully things work out for everyone, and I'm just waiting until February for highschool results. Then it's March, and April. (Just starting a countdown, lol.)
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