Alone

What's the difference between being alone and being lonely?  

Going to church for the first time in a while.  To be honest, I'm scared.  I'm scared of being rejected.  Of being... embarrassed.  Funny thing is, it's church.  Church. 
 
It's also one of the places I've never truly belonged.  But I do want to go.  I need... to lift myself up again, look towards the light instead the darkness. 

If that's what's meant to be.

Do you believe in destiny, fate?  Luck, miracles?  

I do.  Because if you're someone who doesn't always believe in one's self, then there's at least something to hold onto.  

Was it fate, destiny?  Our meeting.  

I truly believe it so.  

But it's not the destiny, or God's will.  It's just ourselves.

It's really ironic.  Looking at the title I named this blog.  "Fading from Eternity".  Is that eternity "Heaven"?  Myself just to lead into Hell?  Or is it an eternity of being locked up inside?  An eternity of darkness? 

Kinda strange, thinking about it. 

Some people, you remember, because of those little things that they do. 

I need to be stronger.  I need more... confidence. 

I don't know anymore. 

When you're lonely, you never realize who's standing beside you, until you're alone. 

And to be alone doesn't mean that you have to be lonely. 

Yo.

Haven't posted in a while.  A lot has happened since my last post, various things, I should say. 
First off... went to a concert this past Sunday!  Was awesome, got to see Simple Plan, Good Charlotte, Boys like Girls.  Was seriously, awesome.  Thanks, to my sister. 

Started soccer camp for a week.  The heat is dreadful, my face is definitely sunburned.  Sigh...  Some of my old classmates from my first elementary school, I believe, are there.  Doesn't help that I dislike them, doesn't help. 

I know I can't remember every person who I have cherished, I have liked because they were nice, etc.  Because it's just all going to fade, soon enough...  But it does really help when someone unexpected notices something about you.  It does kind of make your day.  Lol, a counselor at camp actually talks to me, and it's weird because he just talks about the books that I read, and... I don't know.  He's a nice person, though way taller than me and carrot topped hair.  Kind of made my afternoon, strangely enough.

Finished ANTM's season 13 today (didn't start today, no way).  Love Nicole Fox, she's just amazing.  XD 

Addicted to listening to Remembrance from Smiling Pasta sung by Ah Zhe (Gino).  Haven't finished the drama, don't really plan on it.

Started watching 1 litre of Tears... it's sad, definitely. 

Yeah!

School's out!  Yeah, finally!  I'll miss the graduating people, but honestly, I'm kind of glad it's done for now.  Last day was... okay.  Had some issues with liking people, and vice versa, but that's just the way our grade... is?  Let's say that we're just stupid.  Ha, in Spanish, the last period, we were cornering this one guy, forcing him to tell who he liked.  Don't think we ever succeeded, but oh well.  I'll miss most of my classes, it was a fun year with all the people in them, even the teachers.  I did well on my math exam!  okay, on my spanish, though.  Sigh... oh well.  Life's life.

To be honest, I wish I could of said goodbye to those graduates, some who I had known from before, or even ones that I had known this year.  I'll miss them, you know?  But... it's time, to let go.  I need to let go of so many other things, but it's just not right. 

Got two shots today... one in my right, and one in my left.  Lovely. 

Had an awesome year, with a bit of some trouble, but I don't regret most of it.   Well... I guess?  In the stage where friendship, love, and social status is easily breakable.  Reminds me of what my friend once said.  "Most of your friends that age are only there for that period, they never carry on." Or something like that.

Started watching the drama Smiling Pasta... the main character is a bit stupid, but I'm still watching it.

Exams.

Exams, what more can I say? I'm screwed... especially Spanish. luckily I've only got 2 major exams, 4 exams total. Whew. Then school ends... so bittersweet yet victorious.

Sister's coming home tomorrow, glad to see her.

Pretty much... it for now.

Tears from Polaris

Běi Jí Xīng De Yǎn Lèi

Xiàng duàn le xiàn
Xiāo shī rén hǎi lǐ miàn
Wǒ de de yǎn zhōng yú shī qù
Nǐ de liǎn
x
Zài děng yī huì
Shē wàng liú xīng huì chū xiàn
Yuàn
Rú guǒ zhēn de shí xiàn

Ài néng bù néng yǒng yuǎn
Míng tiān
Huò xǔ lái bu jí biàn
Dàn céng jīng zǒu guò de zuó tiān
Yuè lái yuè yuǎn
xx
Běi jí xīng de yǎn lèi
Shuō bù chū de xiǎng niàn
Yuán lái wǒ men huó zài
Liǎng gè shì jiè

Běi jí xīng de yǎn lèi
Nǐ kū hóng de shuāng yǎn
Bèi lín shī de nuò yán
Yān mò zài xīn li miàn
Wǒ tái tóu kān zhe
Ài bù jiàn
xxx
(x to xxx)
Dāng duì de rén
Děng bù dào duì de shí jiān
Jiù zài fàng kāi shuāng shǒu de shùn jiān
Ài sī chéng liǎng biān
(xx to xxx)
Zhěng gè yǔ zhòu dōu
Liú yǎn lèi

Tears From Polaris

Like broken strings
Disappearing amongst the crowd
My eyes have finally lose sight of
Your face
x
Wait a moment more
Hoping a shooting star would appear
Hope
If it really came true

Can love be forever
Tomorrow
Maybe too late to change
But the yesterday that we have walked together
Is becoming further and further away
xx
Tears from polaris
Unable to say the longing
Actually we live in
Two different worlds

Tears from polaris
Your crying red pair of eyes
A soaked promise
Submerging inside my heart
I raise my head and see
That love has gone
xx
(x to xxx)
When the right person
Cannot wait for the right time
In the moment that we let go of our hands
The love is torn into two parts
(xx to xxx)
The whole universe
Is in tears

From the drama Smiling Pasta, haven't actually watched it. Might.

Letting Go...

Letting Go

Currently 11:50 PM, June 5th. You can probably see by the ending of the post >_>... but yeah.

Had a fun time tonight, went to a small friends reunion, then went to see my two cousins from Cali, while one of my other cousins gave me his camera to play with. XD

Tomorrow = study time.

Cold.

It's just so cold.

Just so lonely.

XD

Check out my new blog, for writing and things like that. http://mirrorsoftime.blogspot.com/