Generation

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=h1AXZt3TWzg

'You say we got no future
You're living in the past
So listen up, that's my generation'

White darkness.

A dark feeling, one that will grow to beyond corruption if I don't stop it now.

It's a numb coldness, a sad darkness.

I believe it was today...in english, we were writing in our journals and we had topics to choose from. I chose "Why...is good better than evil?" It's not. Honestly. It's merely our own human labels that we put on them. In truth, there is no 'good' and 'evil'. The 'evil' ones are merely blinded by revenge, hatred, to push away anything to get to their victory. It is merely the 'good' that do things for the good for the people. There are always two perspectives to a story. Both on the same levels. But then again...it's merely my opinion.

Flawed Beauty.

I think I'm really going crazy. I can't stand it anymore.

Look at the picture on the right. I took the picture, then fooled around with the lighting.

We seem so bright, but then look at the shadows we cast. It's flawed beauty.

We are always aiming for the top, always willing to push people down if that's the road to victory.

No one's light is pure. We all have a dark aura surrounding us, no matter how well covered up.

It's judgment.

In a world of superficiality, where do you stand?

Don't give me your fake smiles, your facade, and then perhaps I won't give you mine.

Why do I feel so alone in this world, when I know I'm blessed with beautiful friends.

Why are we all, standing alone.

Honestly.

Haven't posted in a while, now... I guess. Exam week is over now, luckily. So tired.

And honestly, right now, I still don't know about my feelings. I don't want to like the guy I do. But I do. And it's not like he's not a great guy. He really is. But I don't want to be hurt, going on and off like this.

Sometimes, I feel like I'm going to go crazy. Thoughts are running through my mind, and I can't stand it anymore. This superficial way of life.

I just need someone to trust. A shoulder for me to cry on. Someone whom I can just release it all to. Honestly.

*Cough* Supposed to be doing Spanish, and studying for spanish right now. But oh well. Taking a little break.

Today I finished the book, "Frozen Fire". It was a good book, not the best, but good. Though, it did make me think. Just a sort of weary group of thoughts. Something like that.

Once, one of my friends disagreed with me on my view of 'happiness'. He thought that happiness was something that was long, that was truly peaceful, getting rid of all stress. Or something like that. I thought it was merely short periods of light. I don't know. But now, I think I'm beginning to believe him. Honestly.

Why does the mere thought of you,
Cheer me up?

Even just a little.

Why can't I forget,
And throw it away?

I can't stop it.

Why couldn't I forsee,
That I would still love you?

Even after all this time.

Why did I even fall,
For you, when we were just friends?

And that would have been enough.

Why.

Not a favorite song of mine, it's just okay. But I really like the lyrics.

Guardian Angel - Red Jumpsuit Apparatus
When I see your smile
Tears run down my face
I can't replace
And now that I'm strong
I have figured out
How this world turns cold
and it breaks through my soul
And I know I'll find
deep inside me
I can be the one

I will never let you fall(let you fall)
I'll stand up with you forever
I'll be there for you through it all(though it all)
Even if saving you sends me to heaven

It's okay. It's okay. It's okay.
Seasons are changing
And waves are crashing
And stars are falling all for us
Days grow longer and nights grow shorter
I can show you I'll be the one

I will never let you fall (let you fall)
I'll stand up with you forever
I'll be there for you through it all (through it all)
Even if saving you sends me to heaven

Cuz you're my, you're my, my, my true love, my whole heart
Please don't throw that away
Cuz I'm here for you
Please don't walk away and
Please tell me you'll stay, stay

Use me as you will
Pull my strings just for a thrill
And I know I'll be okay
Though my skies are turning gray

I will never let you fall
I'll stand up with you forever
I'll be there for you through it all
Even if saving you sends me to heaven
[to fade]

Hmmm.

Exams. Gah. I got a B on my science one >_>.... And I have Spanish, Math, and English coming up. Gah.

Feeling numbness. Not essentially sadness, but numbness. Just found out that the guy I like is...dating? I think. But it's not like I even see him everyday. I only saw him during the summer. And we only keep in contact on facebook. But I definitely know he doesn't like me. I knew that from the start.

And I can't even count the people I miss. Especially the ones who don't keep in contact anymore.

A Beautiful Lie - 30 seconds to Mars

Lie awake in bed at night
And think about your life
Do you want to be different?
Try to let go of the truth
The battles of your youth
'Cause this is just a game

[Chorus:]
It's a beautiful lie
It's the perfect denial
Such a beautiful lie to believe in
So beautiful, beautiful it makes me

It's time to forget about the past
To wash away what happened last
Hide behind an empty face
Don't ask too much, just say
'Cause this is just a game

[Chorus]

(Oh Oh
The end of the world)

Everyone's looking at me
I'm running around in circles, baby
A quiet desperation's building higher
I've got to remember this is just a game

(So beautiful, beautiful
It's a beautiful lie
So beautiful, beautiful
It's a beautiful lie
So beautiful, beautiful...)

[Chorus]

Wish I could just forget about my past. Wish I could just throw it away. Well, most of it. And most of all, I wish I could stop clinging to my past.