Before I Forget

Many people say they would like to change themselves, yet they protest that they cannot.  Hell.  If you want to go and change yourself, just go.  With a little bit of help and luck and boost of effort, miracles happen.  If you start looking at the beauty in everyday life, then things begin to change through your eyes.

Even this entry is a bit early, I thought I should get it over and done as I was thinking about it today. 

It's the end of 2010, and 2011 is coming in a few days.  Last year, I said that they new year always seems to take away something from me, and it never fails.  I have a feeling what's set out to happen.

Now that this year is coming to a close, I have a few things that I want to shout out to the world.

Things have gotten better this year, I partially let go of Greg, and even though I still have doubts about forgetting those memories, I'll just have to move on.  It's hopeless to think that I'll see most of them again, but it's never bad to still try.

I can't exactly remember when, but Marco left, and I honestly want to thank him.  He's made a necessary sacrifice, and I hope he's healed and gotten better at his love life.

It was around March to May when I met Thomas,  the "Frenchman".  I remember his light brown puffy hair and how he actually didn't think I was that bad at tennis.  Once again, another person I will not see again in my lifetime.  Farewell, for now.

I stopped seeing the darkness for a bit, and I think I let go of my life slightly.  I went to Japan and found magic that will not leave my heart.

I found feelings for someone else, but as always, it doesn't work.  The only thing I can do is to hope that one day it works out.

Thanks to the one with green orbs which illuminate and reflect the world. 

Actually, yesterday, I met Luke.  I had an enjoyable time, and I did laugh a lot.  He made me feel accepted, unlike all those other times where I'm standing quietly in the 'outer circle' (as he calls it).  Is it strange to start to like someone who's kind and makes you feel that way?  ("YES" says my other self.  That's one of the reasons why I'm stupid in emotions)

The person I truly have to thank the most is Max.  I can tell you right now that he is the person that I will lose, yet it's his choice, and his journey.  He's the one who answered all my questions, and told me the truth.  He's one of those people whom I will never forget yet will never, absolutely never, see or hear from again.

And I have to thank everyone I've met.  It's been an enjoyable year, in different ways.  Even though I'm not exactly in the Christmas Spirit, Merry Christmas.