It's been a while, more than a month. I guess... I just kept putting it off, not wanting to write down a new post. Nothing interesting recently, I suppose. I keep on thinking life's average, but I hate the humps and hills that come up. Sometimes, I hate the repetition, or the irregularity. School's almost done for me, a week and a half left. This summer's going to be... busy. Volunteering, camp/course, etc. I hate the end of the school year. Too many people I won't ever see again in the upper class. Too many words left unspoken.
Speaking of words... recently, I realized something that I hate. Words can easily hurt me. They can pierce through my heart, and break me into shattered pieces. Sure, I can tape myself back together. But it's never the same. Sometimes, what people say, it doesn't matter. But the people I care about, or who I want to... live up to their expectations. Even for something they don't mean, it hurts me inside. I remember once I cried, because of something my friend said in his email. He was scolding me or something.
Does this show who I really am? Someone who just wants to be... what other people want me to be? There was once a girl that I wanted to be, but right now, I'm not sure if she's what I want, or what
they want.
Part of me wants to dream, to be able to trust him. The other just wants to push him away, to make myself seem stronger.
In reality, all that's left in me is broken pieces, that I'm trying so hard to fit it all together. The thing is, everything doesn't fit together. What am I?
